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Last weekend, my boyfriend and I were in dire need of a quick massage near our flat. We remembered seeing a small massage parlor in a tiny alley just off Des Voeux Road in Sai Ying Pun and decided to give it a shot. The place, called The Forest Foot Spa & Beauty, was modest, but we were greeted by a very friendly woman who sat us down in the standard giant orange foot massage chairs to decide what we wanted. My boyfriend opted for a $178, 50-minute, Aromatherapy body massage. He left me to get my $198 foot massage and neck-and-shoulder rub condo in the outer room. In the next few graphs, he describes his experience:
"I was directed to the bathroom and that's when the doubt set in. It was dark, dank, gray and had a nasty-looking shower stall housing mops, buckets and other junk. Then I was led into a tiny, brightly lit room that barely could fit the two massage tables that were inside. "Hoooooly craaaap" was what popped into my head. The walls were mildewy, a random Chinese musical instrument in one corner and a mop in the other corner. (Lots of mops for a place that didn't seem to use them that often!) Have you seen any of the "Hostel" movies? Okay, it was not that bad, but I have spent a good deal of my adult life in CBGB and The Village Idiot in New York. I am not overly fancy pants. But this gave me real pause. Dingy is the word that came to mind. "When were these sheets washed?" also ran through my brain. Lying on the table was a pair of the standard massage shorts that I was expected to put on after I disrobed. Nope. That was not happenin'. Undies were staying put.""So, in walks my masseuse, and damn if it wasn't Bea Arthur's long-lost Chinese sister. Actually, the lady was very nice, but spoke not a word of English. Luckily, I have mastered "Ting hao de" and "Ow!" which is really all you need during a massage. The massage itself was actually pretty good and she did a lot of work with her fists, which I liked. Unfortunately, my feet were jammed against the wall and there was no place to move, so not ideal. When it was all said and done, I left, feeling better, and also proud of myself for not running away like a little girl. I can't recommend it, even though it's dirt cheap."
Meanwhile, back in the main room, oblivious to the horrors my boyfriend was enduring, I was brought a tub, lined with a plastic bag, for my foot soak. After about 10 minutes the 50-minute massage began. It was pretty standard. While I was getting rubbed, a man who seemed to be a friend of the owner's watched soccer on TV. Two giant fish tanks sat in the corner. There was nothing special about the massage, though it did end with some nice hot towels wrapped around my calves and feet.
After the 50-minute foot massage, I was led into a small room off the main room for my 30-minute head, shoulder and neck massage. The room was very dark so I couldn't tell how clean the sheets were, but the walls definitely needed a new coat of paint. My masseuse worked on my entire body, not just head, shoulder and neck. But she saved her most intense attention for my neck, using some very strong pressure. I briefly wondered if she were capable of paralyzing me. But it oddly felt good and took my mind off the dilapidated environs.
The prices here are pretty low: 50-minute foot massage, $118; 50-minute Chinese acupressure body massage, $148; 30-minute shoulder and neck massage, $88 (or $80 between noon and 3 p.m.). 50-minute body massages will run from $168 for Thai to $198 for lymphatic slimming. Ear candling is $128 for 25 minutes, manicures are $78 and pedicures are $98. They have packages that will save you a few bucks.
Final thought: The staff is friendly; too bad they don't put more effort into the appearance of the place. Best for cheapskates who are not put off by grime.
The Forest. Shop B, Sung Hing House, 2 Sung Hing Lane, just west of Kwai Heung Street off Des Voeux Road West. 2548 1017. map.
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