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The boy and I checked out ET Brilliant one night after work last week, in search of a cheap massage to get some kinks out of our backs. Between Sheung Wan and Kennedy Town, there aren't that many places to choose from, particularly at 10 p.m., so ET Brilliant was it.
I have no idea what is up with the bizarre name, but ET Brilliant has good curb appeal and is located in the same building as kush serviced apartments at 255 Des Voeux Road West. The ground floor has a reception area (bonus: free chocolates) and a nicely outfitted foot-massage zone with hardwood floors and about 8 to 10 chairs. The place seemed clean, the lighting is low and there's no Chinese TV playing loudly. Tea is served to customers upon arrival.
Among the services on offer: foot reflexology ($148), acupressure ($188), Swedish oil body massage ($268), hot stone body massage ($268), lymphatic body massage ($268), Thai body massage ($268), facials ($238-288), ear or navel candle plus neck and shoulder massage ($198) cupping ($148) scraping ($148). (All those prices are for 50-minute sessions). They also offer waxing (legs, $280; bikini, $280; underarm, $100). There are package deals; pay for 10 sessions and get three free.
The boy went for Swedish massage, while I opted for hot stone. The last hot stone massage I had was in Sedona, Arizona, at L'Auberge d'Sedona, and it was awesome. It was also roughly eight times as expensive as this one. So, I adjusted my expectations downward. We were led up to the upper floor, which if you are over 6 feet tall you will find claustrophobic. There are about four private massage cubicles, each very tiny. They are not completely walled off near the ceiling, and they are not very soundproof. It seems highly improbably that there would be any happy endings in this place, because it's almost impossible not to hear what's going on in the next cubicle. They also had a sign posted stating that they only offer "regular" massage services.
In case you are faced with the to-underwear-or-not-to-underwear question: My masseuse brought me a disposable thong. The boy reports that he was offered no disposable undergarments and kept his boxers on for his massage.
While my stones were heating, my masseuse gave me a basic warm-up. After about 10 minutes she fetched the stones. I was lying face down, so I'm not sure exactly what the problem was, but she seemed to have no place to put them in the massage cubicle, so just dropped them on the floor. Repeatedly.
The stones were the proper temperature, not too hot or too cold. She did a decent job with them and focused on the shoulder blade that was killing me, though she didn't seem to understand any English so other than pointing it was not possible to communicate specific concerns. About 35 minutes into the massage, her cell phone rang, and she answered it! She talked for like 2 minutes and then went back to the rubbing. Sorry, but cell phones should not be ringing during my massage and they certainly shouldn't be answered.
The boy reported that his masseuse also took a call on her mobile during his massage.
The verdict: for the price, the massages are not half bad, but not super skillful. Expect a basic rubdown without a lot of technique, and an atmosphere that's a cut above your hole-in-the-wall Chinese place but a notch below the nicer joints in Central. My kink was not 100% worked out by the end of the massage, but I did have some improvement.
ET Brilliant. 255 Des Voeux Road West, Sai Ying Pun. map.
Hours: 11 a.m. to midnight daily
Phone: 2858-8689.
