The Rubdown

Check out our new site! www.therubdown.hk

Fans of this blog, please see our new site at www.therubdown.hk. Here you can see our reviews, and you'll be able to search for spas and massage parlors too! We welcome collaborators, suggestions, questions and comments. Email us at therubdownhk@gmail.com!

Discounts via Facebook and Twitter: Chuan and Bliss

Please Note: Fans of this blog, please see our new site at www.therubdown.hk. Here you can see our reviews, and you'll be able to search for spas and massage parlors too! We welcome collaborators, suggestions, questions and comments. Email us at therubdownhk@gmail.com!  Now on with the show...

Hong Kong spas are increasingly getting with the social media scene and offering discounts via Facebook and Twitter. Chuan Spa is the latest. If you start following them on Facebook this month (June) they'll give you a 10% discount off all treatments of 60 minutes or more. They'll also give you a Chuan Spa five elements mist (valued at HK$168).

Bliss Spa at the W, meanwhile, is offering a free 15 minute wax with every treatment of 60 minutes or longer. 

We here at the Rubdown will keep you posted on all these offers to the best of our ability, and if you hear of some, send 'em our way.

Chuan Spa is on the 41st floor of the Langham Place Hotel, 555 Shanghai Street, Mongkok. Phone (852)  3552 3510

Bliss Spa is at the W Hotel, 1 Austin Road West, Kowloon. Phone (852) 3717 2797

Review: Windsor Spa in North Point (Fortress Hill)

Please Note: Fans of this blog, please see our new site at www.therubdown.hk. Here you can see our reviews, and you'll be able to search for spas and massage parlors too! We welcome collaborators, suggestions, questions and comments. Email us at therubdownhk@gmail.com!  Now on with the show...

No time to go to Shenzhen this weekend, so decided to try Windsor Spa in North Point/Fortress Hill. Here's the rubdown!

Windsor Spa is small, and certainly not as cheap as the mega Shenzhen spas like Queen Spa. But the atmosphere is decent and the service and cleanliness are first-rate. And, if you don't like smoking, this place is pretty smoke-free (especially compared to the spas on the mainland). Good English assistance, especially for first timers! You must spend 500 HKD here on massage services and/or food to avoid being charged for the sauna facilities (hot tub, sauna, steam room) -- or buy one of the mini packages (see below). There's a 10% service charge on everything, and a minimum 50 HKD tip per hour of massage. So things can add up rather quickly.

If you're coming by MTR, get off at Fortress Hill. When you come out of the station (either exit), turn right and walk along King's Road until you pass the Park N' Shop. Turn into Fortress Tower and take the elevator to the 3rd Floor. When you get off the lift, there's a small lobby and the front desk. The men's entrance is to the right of the counter, and the women's entrance is to the left. TIP: Look at the end of the counter nearest the men's changing room entrance. There are coupons there! These coupons will give you 200 HKD off 800 HKD of beauty services, half off their "dark eye circle removal treatment" and more. The coupons are only in Chinese, so ask for help if you can't read them.

The sauna/changing room is super clean, well-lit and well-equipped. As soon as you enter through the gold curtain,you are given a locker to put your things in, and a bracelet that locks your locker and has a code on it; this will be used to charge your account. Put your clothes inside, and your shoes in the shoe drawer. Put on the rubber flip-flops provided. The attendants will give you a towel, and lead you to the private showers, where you can rinse off. After you shower, you can use the steam room, sauna and jacuzzi, or you can move right on to massage or food if you want. If you stay in the sauna area, there are drinks, fresh fruit and even ice cream available. The sauna area is spic-n-span. The hot tub is set to 40 degrees C and there's a big screen TV above it. They will provide you with a "disposable" bra and undies for the hot tub.

When you are ready to exit the changing room/sauna area, you will be given pajama tops and bottoms, a fluffy white robe and a set of undies (at least for the ladies, not sure what the guys get). Don't be offended if they give you ones marked XL -- they are not XL. You can change in the private rooms near the lockers or just out in the open. Then you can go out into the co-ed "rest area" where you can sit in your own giant lounge chair with your friends and watch your own personal TV, get a food rub or a pedicure or an ear-cleaning. You can also book your massages, and there's a snack counter too. The decor is sort of tropical, with lots of fake plants and dark woods. There are about 30 seats.

I opted for the basic 45-minute ladies massage, which was normally 308 HKD. However, since it was a "holiday weekend," they charged me 347 HKD. They told me in advance, but still, this is rather annoying, considering they weren't busy at all! Plus 50 HKD for a tip. Not exactly a bargain. But it was a good massage and the staff made sure to inquire about my preferences regarding pressure (light, medium, strong) before the massage began. I got about 15 minutes of solid shoulder work sans oil, then 30 minutes of oil massage on the back, arms and legs. The massage room itself was clean and comfortable, dark, and utterly quiet. There was no music or anything. I did appreciate that like many Hong Kong massage parlors, the masseuse did not answer her mobile phone during my treatment!

After my massage I returned to the lounge area and got a 130 HKD "toe massage and scraping." An older gentleman came and, using blades, shaped my toenails. But he utterly failed to remove the dead skin from the bottom of my feet, and there was no toe massage. Then he basically badgered me to give him a 50 HKD tip. Disappointing.

Here's a rundown of Windsor Spa's services and prices:

• Massage (45 mins) 308 HKD (add 120 for another 45 minutes). So why do you get charged an extra 10 HKD (438 HKD) if you opt for a 90 minute massage at the outset? No idea...
• Massage (45 mins) and sauna 408 HKD
• Massage (90 mins) and sauna 538 HKD
• Thai massage (90 mins) 538 HKD, extra 45 minutes is 150 HKD
• Lymphatic massage (120 mins) 638 HKD, extra 45 mins is 200 HKD
• Sauna and foot massage 328 HKD
• Foot massage (45 mins) 130 HKD
• Pedicure 130 HKD
• Toe massage/scraping 130 HKD (advertised at 45 mins, but mine took less than 30)
• Head massage (30 mins) 100 HKD
• Hand massage (30 mins) 80 HKD
• Ear cleaning 100 HKD
• Manicure 100 HKD

They also have a special list of spa treatments for men, plus facials, chinese herbal massage, dead sea mud, vichy showers, stone massage, bust firming treatments, skin whitening, eyebrow shaping, paraffin hand dips, and seaweed exfoliation. Email us if you are interested in more details on prices.

For use of sauna facilities, plus a 45 minute massage and the foot treatment, my total bill came to 625 HKD. They did give me a coupon for 100 HKD off my next visit in the next 30 days. Credit cards are accepted.

Final thoughts: Clean facilities and a welcoming staff. Avoid the Shanghai pedicure, and take time to use all the sauna facilities so you'll feel like you are getting your money's worth.

Windsor Spa. 3/F Fortress Tower, 250 King's Road, North Point, Hong Kong. Map. Phone 3698 0000

News & Deals: Massage and pampering for a good cause at YWCA

Please Note: Fans of this blog, please see our new site at www.therubdown.hk. Here you can see our reviews, and you'll be able to search for spas and massage parlors too! We welcome collaborators, suggestions, questions and comments. Email us at therubdownhk@gmail.com!  Now on with the show...

I was over at the YWCA this week on Macdonnell Road for their spring bazaar, and found out the YWCA has a new program called the Serenity Wellness and Massage Center. This is a "social enterprise," meaning it's a venture set up to train people to work and create jobs for them. Trained masseuses from the center were on hand to give demos of their skills. I got a 20-minute shoulder and head massage for $50, and am eager to go back for a full session. There is something doubly good about getting a rub down and knowing that you're helping people get back into the working world. According to the staff member I spoke with, right now they have four employees working at the center, though there are more graduates of the program who can be called in to help at busy hours.

The center is located on the 2nd floor of the YWCA building at 38C Bonham Road. Map. The website, though, wasn't working when I last checked. They're open from noon until 9 p.m. Phone is 2915 5622. They are having some opening specials through June 30th: 30 minute head and shoulder massage ($78), 45-minute aromatherapy food massage ($108), and 45-minute acupressure body massage ($158) -- good prices for that neighborhood. I haven't yet seen the center, so if you go and check it out, let us know what you think!

The center is part of a wider effort at vocational training by the Hong Kong government and nonprofit groups. If Bonham Road is too far for you to go for a rub down, try this list of other social venture massage and hair dressing parlors. And if you've been to any of them and can recommend some, let us know!

http://www.social-enterprises.gov.hk/file_manager/pdf/directory/SE%20Directory_Eng_Graphic_05.pdf

Review: Chuk Chi Tong Foot Reflexology, North Point

Please Note: Fans of this blog, please see our new site at www.therubdown.hk. Here you can see our reviews, and you'll be able to search for spas and massage parlors too! We welcome collaborators, suggestions, questions and comments. Email us at therubdownhk@gmail.com!  Now on with the show...

After work one night this week, the boy and I needed to unwind so we hit up Chuk Chi Tong (Foot Parlor) in North Point. It seems to be very popular with the neighborhood crowd, because when we got there around 9:45 p.m., four of the seven foot massage chairs were full, and there were body massages happening in the back rooms as well. The longer we stayed, the busier the place got. The clientele included couples as well as solo men and women. There are male and female masseuses and they're friendly, though there wasn't much English spoken. A point for the gentlemen: It's likely you may get assigned a male masseuse.

The setup is fairly standard: A carpeted front room with 7 chairs for foot massage and Shanghai pedicures, a couple of rooms in the back for full-body work. There's a TV, though it's kept at low volume, plus stacks of Chinese magazines so you can catch up on all your favorite Cantopop gossip. The place is clean, including the bathroom. We opted for the combo of 50-minute foot massage, 25-minute shoulder and neck rub, for $177.

The menu includes foot massage ($118 for 50 minutes, $218 for 100 minutes); whole-body massage ($168 for 50 minutes, $318 for 100 minutes -- no discount for longer here, unless that's a bad typo!); aroma whole-body massage ($168 for 50 minutes); whole body + foot massage combo ($278 for 100 minutes); lymph detoxification massage ($198 for 50 minutes); cupping ($128); ear candling ($128); pedicure with scraping ($128).

They have a buy 10-get-2 free offer on all of the above, plus there's happy hour before 3 p.m.: $98 for a 50-minute foot massage, or $148 for a full body.

Instead of the usual Chinese tea, bottled water is offered at the start of the foot massage. Our feet were soaked hot water with some sort of herbs in a basin lined with a plastic bag. Then it was onto the rubbing. The only discernible technique my masseuse possessed seemed to be "rub hard" and "rub harder with knuckles," and while I like firm massages, it was a bit much. ( My companion, who prefers a lighter touch, reported that his masseuse in fact was fairly gentle and sensitive to his nascent flinching when the pressure got to be too intense.)

During the foot massage portion of the treatment, my masseuse spent a good chunk of the time craning her head around to watch the TV on the wall behind her. She also answered her cell phone. As did almost all the other masseuses I saw who were attending to customers. Demerits, people! Answer your damn mobiles when you're on break.

The shoulder and neck portion of the massage was actually better than the foot part. The technique was more squeezing and stretching as opposed to rubbing. My shoulders, neck and arms felt really relaxed at the end of the session.

Bottom line: Nothing to go out of your way for, but if you're in the hood, it's clean and lively.

Chuk Chi Tong, 9 Java Road, North Point. 10 a.m. to 1 a.m. 2566 6782. Map.

Review: Thai Retreat, Sai Ying Pun

Please Note: Fans of this blog, please see our new site at www.therubdown.hk. Here you can see our reviews, and you'll be able to search for spas and massage parlors too! We welcome collaborators, suggestions, questions and comments. Email us at therubdownhk@gmail.com!  Now on with the show...

The boy and I have good things to say about a new massage place in Sai Ying Pun: Thai Retreat on Queens Road West. At first, I was a little hesitant, because it's not on the ground floor so you can't get a good look at the joint before you go in. But have no fear, Thai Retreat isn't scary like The Forest, and it's nearly as cheap.

Thai Retreat is run by Su, a Thai woman who says she used to work at ET Brilliant. It's on the first floor, up one flight of stairs. The place is basic but clean and tastefully decorated, with low lighting -- no blaring Canto TV or fluorescent lighting. The reception area can accommodate four foot massage customers, and there are 3 private rooms for body massage. We called ahead and booked two body massages for 9 p.m. on a Thursday. They offer Swedish, hot stone, lymphatic and Thai body massage (all $188 for 50 minutes) plus acupressure ($168 for 50 minutes). You can also get a facial ($238), foot reflexology ($118) and a combo head massage + ear candling ($138).

When we showed up, Su and a second staffer were there, but we had to wait for another masseuse to arrive before we could get started. Meanwhile we had tea, plus some Thai coconut beverage that was rather tasty. After 15 minutes the other masseuse arrived and we were on our way. My boy, who prefers a lighter touch, opted for the Swedish with Mina, while I went for the lymphatic with Su. There's no funny business here; a sign on the back of the door in each private room says, rather sincerely: "Sorry! NO SEX SERVICE." You can read my boy's funny review on his site, Hong Kong Hitch.

Generally, lymphatic massage is on the gentle side. It is intended to promote the removal of bodily  toxins and waste. Read more about the lymph system here. Lymphatic massage is useful for people with edema or those of you who feel like you are retaining a lot of fluid. It's also said to help improve the metabolism. You can read more about the benefits here.

Su's version of lymphatic massage is the firmest I've ever experienced, and unlike most other lymphatic massages I've had, she used oil. Su is about 1.5 meters tall, with no discernible biceps and a total body weight of less than 50 kg for sure, but the gal is strong! I tend to like a lot of pressure in my rubdowns, and Su delivered, but if you prefer a lighter touch, be sure to ask -- her English is passable and she seemed eager for feedback. The massage ended up being pretty much a Thai style workover, with a lot of focus on the lymphatic areas like armpits and upper thighs. There was even stretching and the typical contortionist moves toward the end. A nice touch was a large, hot, citrus-scented towel over the back at the finale -- no going home oily. 

Final thoughts: Best combo of atmosphere and price we've found in the area.

Thai Retreat, 291 Queens Road West, 1/F, Sai Ying Pun. Map.

Phone 2882 2396 or 5126 5797.

Hours 10 a.m. to 11 p.m., although later appointments seem to be available upon request.

Your Health: Hong Kong scientists warn acupuncture can transmit disease

Please Note: Fans of this blog, please see our new site at www.therubdown.hk. Here you can see our reviews, and you'll be able to search for spas and massage parlors too! We welcome collaborators, suggestions, questions and comments. Email us at therubdownhk@gmail.com!  Now on with the show...

Heads up, if you are a fan of acupuncture or thinking of trying it. Radio Television Hong Kong reported today that Hong Kong experts are warning that bacterial infections, hepatitis B and C, and possibly even HIV, are being transmitted via acupuncture through the use of contaminated needles, cotton swabs and hot packs. For the full story, click here.

In an editorial published in the British Medical Journal, microbiologists at the University of Hong Kong said the number of reported acupuncture-related infections worldwide was the tip of an iceberg and they called for tighter infection control measures.

"To prevent infections transmitted by acupuncture, infection control measures should be implemented, such as use of disposable needles, skin disinfection procedures and aseptic techniques," wrote the researchers, led by Patrick Woo, microbiology professor at the university.

"Stricter regulation and accreditation requirements are also needed," they added.

The researchers said acupuncture may be risky as needles are inserted up to several centimeters beneath the skin and they warned of a new syndrome -- acupuncture mycobacteriosis -- in the 21st century. "This is an infection caused by mycobacteria that rapidly grow around the acupuncture insertion point as a result of contaminated cotton wool swabs, towels and hot-pack covers. There is a long incubation period but the infection usually leads to large abscesses and ulcers," they wrote.

"So far, more than 50 cases have been described globally. In most cases ... bacteria were transmitted from the patient's skin flora or the environment because of inadequate skin disinfection before acupuncture," they wrote. While most patients recover from these bacterial infections, five to 10 percent of the reported bacterial infections end up with serious problems including joint destruction, multi-organ failure, flesh-eating disease and paralysis. There have been at least five outbreaks of hepatitis B virus infection that are linked to acupuncture.

In most of these cases, the sources were infected patients and the virus was transmitted through dirty needles, although in one case, it was the acupuncturist who was the source, they said. The paper also laid out the possibility of transmission of hepatitis C and HIV via acupuncture. "Although no clear evidence exists to support a link between acupuncture and HIV infection, there are reports of patients with HIV who had no risk factors other than acupuncture," it said.

(photo by Kellie Iwona, via flickr. http://www.flickr.com/photos/iwona_kellie/ / CC BY 2.0)

Review-Preview: Yelo Spa in New York, coming soon to Hong Kong!

Please Note: Fans of this blog, please see our new site at www.therubdown.hk. Here you can see our reviews, and you'll be able to search for spas and massage parlors too! We welcome collaborators, suggestions, questions and comments. Email us at therubdownhk@gmail.com!  Now on with the show...

O.K. gang, now for something a little different. We here at the Rubdown are an international bunch, and we know you like to travel too. So when our friend Kelly C. in New York City offered to write us a review of the hot Yelo Spa in Manhattan, we were more than happy to accept. And, Kelly came back with a scoop: Yelo is planning to open a Hong Kong outpost later this year, in cahoots with Sense of Touch. How's that for breaking news? You heard it here first, folks!

We'll bring you updates as we get them. But now, we offer you a video on Yelo and Kelly's thoughts on the joint. Thanks, Kelly!

I walked into the door of Yelo Spa for my first visit thinking that they had some ground to make up with me.

I walked out an hour and a half later blissful and relaxed, an enthusiastic convert to the ways of this East-Meets-West oasis. The New Yorker in me, fixated on fighting my way through injustice, both perceived and real, was tamed by the yogi sage in me, who remembered what was important.

The experience started a few weeks ago when, looking for a new spa experience that I might offer to my sister and her friends who were visiting for the weekend, I stumbled on the Yelo Web site, www.yelospa.com, and was immediately captivated. Images of an inviting space, illuminated by glowing lights in shades of saffron and fuchsia, beckoned.  On offer were sessions of soothing reflexology-based treatments, and the spa’s signature Yelonaps, experienced in chambers known as Yelocabs — rooms that combine, aromatherapy, purified air, and the customized YeloChair, which elevates the legs over the heart to encourage relaxation.

The Web site spoke of bringing the ways of Eastern aesthetics and traditions to busy Western urbanites, ideas that intrigued this busy journalist/yoga teacher.

My sister and her friends ultimately decided against a spa weekend, but I was hooked on the idea of a Yelospa visit. And so, full of expectations that what I was headed for was nothing short of enlightened-thus-nothing-can-go-wrong spa treatments, I booked online for two treatments, a reflexology “Wake Up Call” session for USD $115, designed for those feeling tired and/or depressed, and an AlphaLounger session, USD $28 for 23 minutes, a multi-sensory adventure in a state-of-the-art lounger.

My debit card was debited immediately for both treatments. When I called to check that my appointments were confirmed, I was told that the session in the “AlphaLounger” chair, was not available.  Grrr. Being pre-charged for a spa treatment is already annoying in my book. Being pre-charged for a treatment that is not available is doubly annoying. The representative I spoke with on the phone apologized and assured me I would be refunded for the Alpha Lounger Session.

And so I arrived for my remaining scheduled treatment. The receptionist, who was unaware of the payment mixup and whether my card had been refunded, (annoying), did offer me some soothing herbal tea, then sat me down in the glowing saffron reception area and called Michael Hazel, the director of operations, to meet with me in person. Mr. Hazel apologized for the charging mixup and explained that they had expected the AlphaLounger to be fixed by the time of my scheduled appointment.  But, he explained, gesturing to the wavy lounge chair sitting unplugged and unceremoniously in the reception area, the AlphaLounger was still out of commission. He assured me that all reparations would be made.

My eye lingered wistfully on the AlphaLounger, which was one of the reasons I wanted to visit Yelo Spa in the first place. Unplugged and unattended to, it looked decidedly less exotic and enticing than it did on the Web site, which portrays a glowing deep-blue C-shaped lounger that promises to engulf the body in “uniquely created sound compositions” combined with soft warmth and a light rocking motion. 

I thought about taking my refund for the AlphaLounger session and just going with the “Wake Up Call” reflexology.  But the tea and Michael’s sincere and down-to-earth apology had mellowed me and I decided to add another treatment, one of the spa’s signature YeloNaps. At USD$18, the nap was inexpensive and paired well with the reflexology.

The receptionist gave me a questionnaire regarding my general state of health and my preferences for sounds and fragrances during my treatment. I put down that I was stressed and tired. (Didn’t have to tell them that!) I requested sounds of falling rain and aromas of lavender and Indian spices.

The warm color scheme, inspired by the colors favored by Tibetan monks, began to seep in and I started to tune into the décor.

The Eastern vibe is intentional, according to Yelo’s founder and chief executive Nicolas Ronco.   A French entrepreneur and a frequent business traveler to Asia, Mr. Ronco found himself drawn to Eastern wellness traditions. In particular, he began noticing the positive effect of  taking a short break during the day to recharge and renew.    

Yelo opened its doors in midtown Manhattan in 2007, billing itself as a wellness center rather than a spa and heavily promoting the YeloNaps. Yelo was not the first, commercial nap space in the city. Among others, MetroNaps had opened in the Empire State Building. 

The downturn has affected the power nap business, and Mr. Ronco has added a menu of conventional spa services to Yelo’s offerings, but he remains convinced that his formula of offering the busy urbanite an easy, quick way to recharge and renew is a winning one.

After I finished my tea, Micah, my physical therapist, led me down the glowing saffron hallway to my Yelocab. He instructed me to remove my boots and tights, but leave everything else on. (“You don’t get naked here,” Mr. Ronco explained, a policy keeping in line with his philosophy of keeping sessions quick and easy.)  I sat down in the YeloChair, which looked like a glorified leather recliner, and waited for Micah.

He came into the room, reclined my chair to a prone position, my legs slightly raised in a comfortable position. Micah covered me with a light, buttery blanket and began the session by giving my feet a warm towel bath. The simple joy of having your feet covered and gently cleaned in a warm, fragrant towel cannot be underestimated.

Micah then massaged my feet and head, using a gentle reflexology style developed by an American physiotherapist, Eunice Ingham. He devoted extra attention to my ears, which took a few moments to get used to, but ultimately left me drifting toward sleep.

At the end of the 40-minute massage,  he wrapped my feet in what seemed to be soft cotton booties, and left the room, a fact I registered only vaguely. With my feet swaddled, my muscles relaxed, and the sound of falling rain all around me, I fell into my 20-minute Yelonap.

A gentle brightening of the room and vibrating of my chair brought me awake. Micah returned with some cool water and told me to take my time as I returned to the world of New York.

I drank the water, put on my boots and floated out of the YeloCab, deciding that, whatever the imperfections, this place was on to something. Mr. Ronco is convinced of that as well, and said he has plans to open a Yelo spa in Hong Kong, through a licensing agreement with the creators of Sense of Touch spas, later this year.

Yelo Spa, 315 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019, United States. +1-212-245-8235. map.

Review: The Forest Foot Spa & Beauty, Sai Ying Pun

Please Note: Fans of this blog, please see our new site at www.therubdown.hk. Here you can see our reviews, and you'll be able to search for spas and massage parlors too! We welcome collaborators, suggestions, questions and comments. Email us at therubdownhk@gmail.com!  Now on with the show...

Last weekend, my boyfriend and I were in dire need of a quick massage near our flat. We remembered seeing a small massage parlor in a tiny alley just off Des Voeux Road in Sai Ying Pun and decided to give it a shot. The place, called The Forest Foot Spa & Beauty, was modest, but we were greeted by a very friendly woman who sat us down in the standard giant orange foot massage chairs to decide what we wanted.  My boyfriend opted for a $178, 50-minute, Aromatherapy body massage. He left me to get my $198 foot massage and neck-and-shoulder rub condo in the outer room. In the next few graphs, he describes his experience:

"I was directed to the bathroom and that's when the doubt set in. It was dark, dank, gray and had a nasty-looking shower stall housing mops, buckets and other junk. Then I was led into a tiny, brightly lit room that barely could fit the two massage tables that were inside. "Hoooooly craaaap" was what popped into my head. The walls were mildewy, a random Chinese musical instrument in one corner and a mop in the other corner. (Lots of mops for a place that didn't seem to use them that often!) Have you seen any of the "Hostel" movies?  Okay, it was not that bad, but I have spent a good deal of my adult life in CBGB and The Village Idiot in New York. I am not overly fancy pants.  But this gave me real pause.  Dingy is the word that came to mind. "When were these sheets washed?" also ran through my brain. Lying on the table was a pair of the standard massage shorts that I was expected to put on after I disrobed.  Nope.  That was not happenin'. Undies were staying put."

"So, in walks my masseuse, and damn if it wasn't Bea Arthur's long-lost Chinese sister.  Actually, the lady was very nice, but spoke not a word of English.  Luckily, I have mastered "Ting hao de" and "Ow!" which is really all you need during a massage.  The massage itself was actually pretty good and she did a lot of work with her fists, which I liked.  Unfortunately, my feet were jammed against the wall and there was no place to move, so not ideal.  When it was all said and done, I left, feeling better, and also proud of myself for not running away like a little girl.  I can't recommend it, even though it's dirt cheap."

Meanwhile, back in the main room, oblivious to the horrors my boyfriend was enduring, I was brought a tub, lined with a plastic bag, for my foot soak. After about 10 minutes the 50-minute massage began. It was pretty standard. While I was getting rubbed, a man who seemed to be a friend of the owner's watched soccer on TV. Two giant fish tanks sat in the corner. There was nothing special about the massage, though it did end with some nice hot towels wrapped around my calves and feet.

After the 50-minute foot massage, I was led into a small room off the main room for my 30-minute head, shoulder and neck massage. The room was very dark so I couldn't tell how clean the sheets were, but the walls definitely needed a new coat of paint. My masseuse worked on my entire body, not just head, shoulder and neck. But she saved her most intense attention for my neck, using some very strong pressure. I briefly wondered if she were capable of paralyzing me. But it oddly felt good and took my mind off the dilapidated environs.

The prices here are pretty low: 50-minute foot massage, $118; 50-minute Chinese acupressure body massage, $148; 30-minute shoulder and neck massage, $88 (or $80 between noon and 3 p.m.). 50-minute body massages will run from $168 for Thai to $198 for lymphatic slimming. Ear candling is $128 for 25 minutes, manicures are $78 and pedicures are $98. They have packages that will save you a few bucks.

Final thought: The staff is friendly; too bad they don't put more effort into the appearance of the place. Best for cheapskates who are not put off by grime.

The Forest. Shop B, Sung Hing House, 2 Sung Hing Lane, just west of Kwai Heung Street off Des Voeux Road West. 2548 1017. map.

Review: ET Brilliant, Sai Ying Pun (Western District)

Please Note: Fans of this blog, please see our new site at www.therubdown.hk. Here you can see our reviews, and you'll be able to search for spas and massage parlors too! We welcome collaborators, suggestions, questions and comments. Email us at therubdownhk@gmail.com!  Now on with the show...

The boy and I checked out ET Brilliant one night after work last week, in search of a cheap massage to get some kinks out of our backs. Between Sheung Wan and Kennedy Town, there aren't that many places to choose from, particularly at 10 p.m., so ET Brilliant was it.

I have no idea what is up with the bizarre name, but ET Brilliant has good curb appeal and is located in the same building as kush serviced apartments at 255 Des Voeux Road West. The ground floor has a reception area (bonus: free chocolates) and a nicely outfitted foot-massage zone with hardwood floors and about 8 to 10 chairs. The place seemed clean, the lighting is low and there's no Chinese TV playing loudly. Tea is served to customers upon arrival.

Among the services on offer: foot reflexology ($148), acupressure ($188), Swedish oil body massage ($268), hot stone body massage ($268), lymphatic body massage ($268), Thai body massage ($268), facials ($238-288), ear or navel candle plus neck and shoulder massage ($198) cupping ($148) scraping ($148). (All those prices are for 50-minute sessions). They also offer waxing (legs, $280; bikini, $280; underarm, $100). There are package deals; pay for 10 sessions and get three free.

The boy went for Swedish massage, while I opted for hot stone. The last hot stone massage I had was in Sedona, Arizona, at L'Auberge d'Sedona, and it was awesome. It was also roughly eight times as expensive as this one. So, I adjusted my expectations downward. We were led up to the upper floor, which if you are over 6 feet tall you will find claustrophobic. There are about four private massage cubicles, each very tiny. They are not completely walled off near the ceiling, and they are not very soundproof. It seems highly improbably that there would be any happy endings in this place, because it's almost impossible not to hear what's going on in the next cubicle. They also had a sign posted stating that they only offer "regular" massage services.

In case you are faced with the to-underwear-or-not-to-underwear question: My masseuse brought me a disposable thong. The boy reports that he was offered no disposable undergarments and kept his boxers on for his massage.

While my stones were heating, my masseuse gave me a basic warm-up. After about 10 minutes she fetched the stones. I was lying face down, so I'm not sure exactly what the problem was, but she seemed to have no place to put them in the massage cubicle, so just dropped them on the floor. Repeatedly.

The stones were the proper temperature, not too hot or too cold. She did a decent job with them and focused on the shoulder blade that was killing me, though she didn't seem to understand any English so other than pointing it was not possible to communicate specific concerns. About 35 minutes into the massage, her cell phone rang, and she answered it! She talked for like 2 minutes and then went back to the rubbing. Sorry, but cell phones should not be ringing during my massage and they certainly shouldn't be answered.

The boy reported that his masseuse also took a call on her mobile during his massage.

The verdict: for the price, the massages are not half bad, but not super skillful. Expect a basic rubdown without a lot of technique, and an atmosphere that's a cut above your hole-in-the-wall Chinese place but a notch below the nicer joints in Central. My kink was not 100% worked out by the end of the massage, but I did have some improvement.

ET Brilliant. 255 Des Voeux Road West, Sai Ying Pun. map. 

Hours: 11 a.m. to midnight daily

Phone: 2858-8689.